The Magic School Bus Tardis!
by The Wicked Witch of Cupcakes
Summary: Join the Doctor and Amy as they explain and teach history while traveling through it. Every unit is a different adventure! Yes. This DOES count as studying.
1. Chapter 1:Evolution of Man

"Hello, hello, hello everybody! It's me the Doctor," Says the Doctor, grinning gleefully while standing in front of the tardis controls. His hands reach to the side and pull Amy into view. "And as you all know this is my good friend Amy" Amy waves.

"Now, I was thinking, I go back in time and into the future and all around the universe, I must learn quite a lot. Isn't that right Amy?" Asks the Doctor. Amy shakes her head as if it was too rehearsed.

"And I got a brilliant idea. I know most of you out there would kill to have me be your history teacher, and take you on exciting adventures and all that, but I'm not. But now I am! Short of." Amy rolls her eyes.

"I've decided that I'm going to take you on adventures with Amy and myself through history, and maybe try to sneak some studying in there." He's face lights up and he swings around and starts pulling some important looking levers.

"Our first stop," He says as he glances back. "Is prehistoric times. Very exciting, we are going to start all the way at the beginning of man."

"Doctor, you have to give some back ground first. Remember? The different scientists?" Amy says, reminding the Doctor of the curriculum.

"Ah, Right." He takes a deep breath beginning his speech. "Scientists examine artifacts left behind in order to learn about early humans. And artifacts are any type of evidence left behind from the past. Hint, if it's in a museum it's usually an artifact." The Doctor gives Amy a wink. She motions for him to continue. "There are three types of main scientists. Archaeologists, who examine all evidence of human life, Anthropologists- who examine artifacts to study culture, and Paleontologists, who examine evidence of early life. More specifically _dinosaurs,_ ooo, I just love dinosaurs."

"Well done Doctor, I only had to show you the flash cards three times." Says Amy sarcastically, holding up the flash cards.

"To be fair, when you travel back in time no one really gives you a pop quiz to see if you know any vocab." He pauses a moment thinking. "In my experience, almost every time I've gone back in time someone or something has tried to kill me. Let's hope that doesn't happen this time, yeah?" Then he starts laughing.

"Amy have I told you about that time with the witches and Shakespeare?" Says the Doctor. Amy rolls her eyes.

"Let's try not to get side tracked." She says, putting him back on track.

"Oh you're no fun." Suddenly he's interrupted as the tardis shakes violently from the rough landing. "We're here!" He claps his hands together with excitement. "We are about to see Hominids, which are any human like creature that walks upright. This is also known as bipedal motion, which literally means two feet. We are currently in the Paleolithic Age which is, um, _Amy the flash cards,_ which is 2.5 million to 8000 million B.C. Whew! Older than I am. Well, almost."

Amy rolls her eyes. The Doctor motions for the next flash card. "The main achievements of the Paleolithic Age are development of simple stone tools and mastery of fire. I love watching the caveman play with fire. They always try to touch it and get burned. Then they do it again. They never learn…"

"Doctor, stay focused."

"Right, sorry. So man's lifestyle during this time depended on hunting and gathering. The men did the hunting, the women did the gathering. They were also nomadic which meant they moved from place to place. And they lived in small groups. Great! Can we go now?" The Doctor asked impatiently.

"Yes. We can go now." The Doctor runs to the door and whips it open, letting the heat of the African weather radiate into the cool tardis interior. "Geronimo!"

Amy follows him outside, where they find themselves in a cliffy region. "Doctor are you sure we're in the right time?"

"Of course. Just because it looks like the present doesn't mean it is. Come on. I know where these Australopithecus like to hang out." Amy followed him down a rocky path.

"Australopithecus was the first hominid to be discovered and it lived approximately 4 million years ago. Footprints were discovered by Mary Leakey in 1978, and a fossilized hominid was found in Africa in 1974. She was famously named Lucy after the song Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds by the Beatles." Amy explains.

"I was there when they discovered it." The Doctor yells up to Amy who is walking a few paces behind him. "In fact, I was the one who suggested naming it Lucy. To be honest it was really a bit of an accident. I was trying to say Cutesy, but they misheard me over the music and named her Lucy."

"You wanted to name a fossilized hominid Cutesy?" Asks Amy in shock.

"Of course! What better name could you ask for? She was adorable."

"She was dead." Amy mutters to herself. The Doctor either doesn't hear her or ignores her. She stops beside him outside a cave. He looks slightly distressed.

"Hmm. Not here." He pauses. Amy looks into the cave and sees some cool looking cave paintings and what looks like a pile of simple spearheads. "Oh well. Let's go see Homo Habilis."

As they reach the tardis the Doctor gives a brief summary of Homo Habilis. "This hominid lived around 2.5 million years ago after the Australopithecus had gone extinct. They were the first tool makers."

"That's strange." Amy interrupts. "Doctor, I swear I say some-"

"Amy, please. I thought you said not to get side tracked. A perfect timing. Here we are!" The Doctor runs outside. Amy goes to join him. They seem to be in the same place, only the trees have a grown a bit more and the landscape has changed a little. But overall it looks basically the same. By the time she's outside, he's already run down the rocky hill. She runs after him. Again she finds him standing outside of the cave again. "Doctor?"

"They're not here…" He seems to be thinking to himself. Trying to come up with an explanation of where they've gone. Suddenly he gets all bright and cheery again. "Come along Pond. Onto the next."

"Okay…" Pond mumbles to herself.

"Alright, so who do we have next?"

"Um," Amy looks down at her flash cards. "Homo erectus."

"Lovely. Homo erectus was the first to develop technology. He also harnessed fire and migrated to other regions. This was around 1.8 million to 143,000 years ago."

The Doctor began to maneuver the tardis. "Okay, we're here." He jumps out and then slams to a stop. Amy follows him outside and her jaw drops.

"Doctor?"

"Pond?"

"Is Homo Erectus supposed to be farming? Or have domestication of animals?" They were looking out over what seemed to be an early type of settlement with mud houses.

"Check the flash cards." Amy quickly pulls out the handy dandy flash cards. Her face turns pale.

"No. It isn't until the Neolithic Age aka the New Stone Age with Homo Sapiens Aka Cro-Magnon man from 8000 to 3000 B.C. that hominids begin to farm. Farming and domestication of animals are the two components of the Neolithic Revolution."

"And that's not supposed to have happened yet…not for almost 135,000 years."

"So what's going on?" Asks Amy quietly. The Doctor's eyes narrow.

"Let's find out." They skim along the edge of the cliff to get a better view of the camp.

"Doctor?"

"Pond?"

"Based on the flash cards this settlement is using Slash and Burn Agriculture," She says, motioning to some farmers with torches. "which was the earliest form of farming where people cleared grass and trees with fire and then farmed. They also seem to have a larger population which is an effect of the Neolithic Revolution." She peered at one of the cards. "It says farming provided a reliable food source, which led to surplus. Increased amount of food equals an increased population." The Doctor doesn't answer. Amy watches as his eyes search the settlement for anything out of place. He suddenly stands up.

"Sorry to do this to you folks, but it looks like we've got some investigating to do. Come along, Pond."

They climb down the side of the rocky outcrop and once again find themselves outside of the cave. This time though, they go inside.

"So what are we looking for Doctor?" Asks Pond as she sees him taking out the sonic screwdriver. He begins scanning it along the walls.

"Anything out of the ordinary."

"Which is everything?"

"Pretty much." Suddenly the sound of rock moving against rock makes Amy jump as a door emerges from the cave wall. The Doctor slides the screwdriver back into his coat pocket. Without another word, Amy follows him into the dark corridor. Halfway along she notices the floor changed to metal. She runs her hand along the walls and finds that they are also metal. Suddenly they find themselves in a metal hexagonal room. Amy's heart freezes. Along each wall is a Cyberman incased in a Plexiglas tube of some sort.

The Doctor runs forward and begins scanning them with his sonic screwdriver. Then he scans the large computer in the center. "Just as I thought." He whispers to Amy. "Their power supply is very low and they are very weak. They must have crashed here and built this makeshift power supply unit as a last ditch effort to survive a little longer. I thi-"

But the Doctor is cut off as a little beeping noise comes from the computer. He leans in to study it. Suddenly his face lights up. "It all makes sense." He whispers excitedly. "The Cybermen are injecting the water supply with a hormone that speeds up evolutionary development. See they can't convert cavemen because their brains are too simple to compute with Cyberman technology. So they're speeding up their evolutionary process. Once they become evolved enough the Cybermen will awaken and harvest them, creating more Cybermen. They'll convert mankind before mankind even exists."

"So how do we stop it?" Asks Amy.

"We have to go back to when the Cybermen first sped up the evolutionary process and stop them there."

"Why can we just pull their power supply now?"

"Because then the Homo erectus are still too evolutionarily advanced. We need to stop them before that happens. Put things back on course."

"Sounds simple enough. How do we know when the Cybermen landed?" The Doctor doesn't answer, just starts scanning the computer again. A moment later the computer makes a noise.

"Identification?" It asks in a Cyberman voice.

"Umm…" He starts scanning with his screwdriver again.

"Identification confirmed."

"Great. So when did the ship crash land?"

"Five thousand two million seventy-"

"Oh, shut up." The Doctors scans his screwdriver at the computer.

"Ah. A few years before we arrived. Great. Come al-"Suddenly the Doctor is interrupted by the computer which begins to make a very loud beeping noise. A red light starts to go off and a voice says very loudly, "INTRUDER ALERT. INTRUDER DETECTED. DELETE. DELETE."

"Pond?"

"Doctor?"

"Run." Suddenly the chambers with the Cybermen inside begin to open. One by one they all begin to awake. "Doctor detected. Delete. Delete."

"Run!" Amy starts to run back into the corridor. It seems longer than it was on the way down. She looks back to see the Doctor running after her and then a crowd of Cybermen trying to follow. They seemed to be stuck at the entrance, which was only built large enough for one Cyberman at a time. She knows it's only a matter of time before they figure this out though so Amy looks ahead again and runs as fast as she can.

Finally they emerge into the sunlight and they run back up the cliff. "Faster Pond!" Amy hears behind her. She crashes against the tardis doors and throws them open. She jumps inside and the Doctor quickly follows her. She sees a Cyberman a foot away from the door as the Doctor slams it shut. Laser fire can be heard outside being shot at the tardis. Amy catches her breath, but the Doctor is already at the controls. "Sorry about that folks. We're just going to take a little detour."

"Back to Australopithecus." He pulls a lever and the tardis seizes forward. "Geronimo!"

A few moments later they emerge again at the cliff. They walk down to the cave. Amy notices the spearheads are gone. The Doctor pulls out his screwdriver. He scans the wall and again the door opens up. "Let's be a bit quieter this time." He smiles playfully at Amy.

Again they find themselves in the hexagonal metal chamber. "So what now?" Amy asks.

"It should be simple enough that I just have to turn off the computer and their power supply with it. They shouldn't have enough energy to even awake fully." With that he starts scanning the computer. After a little random button tapping the words "Are you sure you wish to turn power OFF?" appear on the screen. The Doctor immediately taps "YES."

Suddenly there's a whirring noise and the lights go off. The Doctor turns his screwdriver on and illuminates the chamber in an eerie green glow. "Also makes for a handy dandy torch. Or flashlight for you Americans out there."

"Is that it?" Asks Amy, who is used to a much bigger climax.

"Yep. Let's go." He turns to leave when he and Amy notice the door has closed again.

"Give me a moment." He starts playing with it with his screwdriver trying to get it to open. Amy starts looking over at the Cybermen. There were six walls and a Cyberman case inbedded in each wall. One, two, three. Amy looks at some of the Cybermen who seem a bit dented. It's clear that the Doctor's theory about them crashing is correct (as always). Four, five…Where's six?

The six chamber was empty. "Doctor?"

"Pond?"

"Doctor there's a-"

"There's a what?" Silence. "Amy?" ZAP.

Amy's vision comes back slowly, but she's vaguely aware of something binding her arms and legs. She looks to the side and sees the Doctor strapped to what looks like an operating table.

"Oh good. You're awake." He says cheerfully.

"I thought you said they wouldn't have enough energy to wake up?" Asks Amy, very sassily.

"I said they shouldn't as in it is possible they might but they probably won't."

"Well thanks for clearing that up…So what now?"

"What now? We continue our lesson." He turns to face front. "Today we're going to have a little lesson on how to defeat/escape a Cyberman hive. First off, make sure they haven't taken your screwdriver." The Doctor suddenly pulls his hand out of his coat.

"Wait, WHAT? How-how did you do that?" Asks Amy in disbelief.

"I was wearing my fake arm."

"You have a fake arm?"

"Yep. It's very helpful in situations like this." He smiles mischievously.

"Next step." He continues. "Use your screwdriver to unlock the rest of your bindings." He proceeds to unlock his bindings. "Wonderful. So now because the Cybermen are low on power, we drain the rest of it." With that he points his screwdriver at the main computer. Suddenly all the lights begin to flash on and off. Loud sixties' music starts playing over the loud speaker, over powering the Cyberman voice saying "INTRUDER ALERT." The Cybermen chamber doors begin opening and closing randomly. One of the Cybermen awakens and tries to get out, but the door shuts on him. It opens and closes on him. Finally he smashes it. Then he tries to run after the Doctor, but is painfully slow because the Cyberman is low on power. He begins to slow down even further. "Upgrade. Upgrade. Upgraaadddadad..." The Cyberman slumps over.

Almost as soon as it happened all the chaos comes to a halt. The Doctor walks over to Amy. "And that is a basic lesson in Cyberman survival my dear Pond." He unlocks her bonds and they climb back up to the surface.

"So will all the hominids go back to normal now?"

"Yep."

"Great. So now that history is back in order, we better get going. We wouldn't want to miss our next lesson." Amy says with a smile.

"What is our next lesson?" Asks the Doctor. Amy takes out the flash cards.

"Mesopotamia."

"Oooo. I do love cuneiform." He winks at Amy. "Come along Pond. We have a lesson to teach."


	2. Chapter 2: Mesopotamia

"Welcome back!" Says the Doctor with his usual excited smile. "I hoped you enjoyed our last little adventure, because we're going on another one!" He glances over at Amy.

"Our lesson today is on Mesopotamia! The first group of people to settle and farm there were the Sumerians around 4500 B.C., but we'll be visiting them around 2100 B.C.-"Amy begins to explain, but stops when the tardis shakes to a stop.

"Looks like we're here." The Doctor says giddily. He hops outside and Amy follows closely behind him. The air is so hot that you can see the waves of heat radiating off the ground. There's a corner of a large wall made out of stone, the rest of the wall continues the other way. It is possible to view the tops of some houses above the wall, but there is one building that seems to tower over all the others. The sun glares above it all. The Doctor pulls out some sunglasses.

"Hey, you didn't tell me to bring any sunglasses." Amy complains, while shielding her eyes from the burning sun. The Doctor smiles and pulls out another pair, but these are women's sunglasses. He hands them to Amy. "I'm always prepared."

"Much better." She says satisfied. "So Mesopotamia is located in the fertile crescent which is where modern day Iraq is. It's called the Fertile Crescent because it is between the Tigris and Euphrates Rivers, which give yearly deposits of silt."

"For those of you who do not have as splendid a vocabulary as these fine flash cards, silt is extremely rich soil left by overflowing rivers, and it is simply wonderful for farming. And while we're on the subject, let's go check out some Sumerian farms." He starts walking around the corner, and Amy follows. There are rows after rows of dirt and soil. Some people are plowing the fields, others are planting crops. The Doctor walks past them to the side of one of the fields.

"This," he says pointing down to a stream of water, "is an irrigation system." One branch breaks off and leads into the field. Others branch off into other fields. The stream flows around the perimeter of each field.

"The fertile soil isn't enough to grow crops, but these Sumerians are some smart cookies and they created these irrigation systems to bring a steady water supply to the crops." They continue weaving through the fields and arrive at a gap in the wall. "This," says the Doctor motioning to the large city laid out before him, "is a city-state."

"Each city-state is a completely independent city with an organized religion, government, and social classes. They become wealthy by using the rivers and the desert to trade between each other, and neighboring peoples. This leads to cultural diffusion which is," Amy pauses. She pulls out the flash cards and starts skimming though them. "which is, um, a government based on religion! No, that's Theocracy…Um, polytheism, worship of many Gods, no, no. Cuneiform, no! no-"

The Doctor sees she's getting angry, and stops her. "While Amy's doing that, let's explore the city!" They wander through the busy streets, but Amy is busy trying to find the cultural diffusion flash card. They eventually arrive at a hustling bazaar. "The perfect place to explore a culture, a grocery store!" They start exploring the bazaar. Some people stand behind booths littered with products and goods, but most sit on carpets with their products lying out in front of them. The Doctor walks up to one that is selling pots. He leans down and picks one up.

"This is a wonderful example of specialization, which is the development of skills in a specific kind of work. In this case, this man is an artisan." He points down to the confused looking man. "Artisans are skilled workers who make goods by hand…" he glances at Pond, but she is absorbed by the flash cards. He elbows her.

"Stop it. I'm kind of busy right now." She says not looking up.

"But you're supposed to ask me the difference between specialization and an artisan…" He whispers. She ignores him. He sighs. "Fine, the difference is that specialization is any skilled worker, such as a government official or a priest, but an artisan is someone who makes things by hand, such as a potter."

He turns the pot around, displaying the illustrations painted on it. "These are all their different Gods. The belief in many Gods is known as polytheism. And they worshiped these many Gods in temples known as ziggurats. Lucky for us they were always in the center of town and were very big, so we should have no trouble finding it." He hands the pot back to the man on the carpet.

"Thank you, you're pot is lovely." With that he pulls Amy along until they come upon the ziggurat. It really is easy to find because it is so huge. It looks like a tiered square that has a long staircase leading up. The Doctor in his excitement starts running up it, but a few feet slows down. When Amy catches up to him he is breathing heavily.

"What happened?" She asks, looking away from the flash cards for once.

"Stairs." is all he can manage to say.

"Stairs? You run away from Daleks, Cybermen, and God knows what else, and you have two hearts and yet you can't climb some stairs?"

"I don't run away. I bravely retreat. And I just need a…a breather. But while we're sitting here…let's talk about cuneiform! Cuneiform is so important because… it is the first form of developed writing. They didn't have paper though, so they wrote it on clay tablets…When the clay dried the cuneiform was forever engraved in it. This is very helpful for historians because it is preserved so well. And-"

"AH HAA! I FOUND IT!" Amy says, screaming gleefully. She raises the flash cards above her head triumphantly. "Cultural diffusion- the spread of ideas, tools, and goods from one region to another. HAHA! I knew these puny little flash cards couldn't defeat me."

"Alright, well I can breathe again and you seem to be done with your battle against the flash cards, so let's get going." They continue to walk up the steps (more slowly than before). Eventually they are high enough that they can see the entire city. The Doctor points out some interesting places, but Amy is focused on her victory.

Suddenly she stops short. The Doctor keeps walking. "See who needs a breather now? I told you stairs were hard work, especial-"

"Doctor, I don't need a breather. Look up there." She points toward the top of the ziggurat. The Doctor pauses and looks up.

"I think it's-"

"The tardis. Someone must have found it. Maybe they think it's a gift from the Gods. I hate to break it to them, but I'm going to have to take this godly gift away. Come along, Pond." They climb the rest of the way.

They reach the top and see the tardis has disappeared. "Hmm. They must have moved it into that building." Says the Doctor pointing straight ahead. They start towards it, but suddenly a man comes out. He has a long curly beard and a long dress to match it. "He must be a priest." The Doctor whispers to Amy.

"Civilians are not allowed in the temple." He says. The Doctor laughs and pulls out his psychic paper.

"I'm not a civilian, I'm a priest." He says, showing him the blank paper. He looks at it.

"This is a blank piece of paper." He says. The Doctor looks concerned for a moment and then his smiling face reappears.

"Right of course, how silly of me. I've seemed to have taken the wrong wallet. I'll just return home and get it." He says and then pulls Amy along back down the stairs. She tries to get him to stop, but he just keeps walking. A moment later he looks back and sees the priest is gone. He stops.

"Okay. That man is not a priest and he's not human. Or at least not from this time period."

"What?" Amy asks.

"That man could see through my psychic paper which means he either has superior intelligence or has been trained to do so. Either way he is not Sumerian."

"But how do you know he's not just a really smart Sumerian?" Amy asks. The Doctor rolls his eyes as if it's painfully obvious.

"Because he referred to the psychic paper as paper, which hasn't been invented yet."

"So why is he here and what does he want with the tardis?" The Doctor narrows his eyes.

"That's what we're going to find out…"

A few minutes later Amy and the Doctor reappear at the top of the steps. This time, however, they are wearing stolen clothing that they "borrowed" from a priest and priestess. No one is guarding the entrance, but just as they begin to enter the man from before appears.

"This temple is off limits to civilians." He says.

"Haha we, my friend, are not civilians." The Doctor gestures to his priestly tunic and beard. "I am a priest and this is my assistant priestess," Amy bows dignifiedly. "And we are here because we heard the news!"

"The news?" The priest asks quizzically.

"Yes, the news. The news that the gods have sent us a big blue box to worship in honor of them. Most exciting. May we see it?"

"I'm sorry, but I don't know what you're talking about." The Doctor laughs at this whole-heartedly.

"But as a priest I'm sure you have been informed about it and have no doubt seen it. Especially because I was told that it resides in this temple."

"I think whoever gave you this information is very confused. I can assure you that there is no such-"

"Very well, but while we're here we might as well make some offerings to the gods. Come alo-"

"I hate to inform you, but currently this temple is closed for, um, renovations."

"Renovations?"

"Yes, quite. We are installing a new- um, altar. Yes. And until we are done I'm afraid you'll have to worship elsewhere. I'm sorry for the inconvenience, but if you'll just be goi-"

"A new altar! How exciting! Surely as another priest you will allow me to glimpse-"

"No, no, no I'm sorry but it is a surprise. Now if you'll be _going_" The priest says rather aggressively. The Doctor is silent for a moment. But then he speaks up and says, "Of course. And may the gods favor your fortune." And he turns to walk away.

"What was that?" Amy asks once the priest has disappeared.

"Just something I heard being said at the Bazaar. I think it's the traditional farewell here-"

"Not the goodbye, that guy."

"Oh. Yes I noticed he seemed quite passionate about keeping us from going into that temple."

"So, what are we going to do now?" Amy asks. The Doctor smiles mischievously at her.

"Try again…"

"Your holiness. I have an offering for you." A man says to the priest. The priest looks skeptically at him. The man is carrying a large clay pot covered by a lid, almost big enough to fit a person. Maybe even two.

"But I did not order any offerings." He says.

"Yes. But this is a gift. To you." The priest looks at him skeptically again.

"Who is it from?"

"It says," The man begins while leaning down to read an inscription on the side of the pot. "From your secret admirer." The priest looks at the man questionably. The man just shrugs indifferently. Finally the priest gives in.

"Very well. Bring it in, just be quick about it." The priest beckons the man to follow him. They enter the temple and walk down some corridors lined with rooms. They continue to twist and turn until the priest stops outside one of them.

"Just leave it in here." He says. The room is filled with other pots and vessels filled with various spices and beans of sorts. The man places it down and then stands there. He holds out his hand expectantly waiting for a tip.

"Oh, very well." The priest says. He rummages through his tunic until he pulls out two gold coins. He hands them over. "Now goodbye." The man leaves and a moment later the priest leaves in the opposite direction.

A few moments later there is a rough scraping sound as the lid of the pot is pushed off. The Doctor pokes his head out. "All clear."

He climbs out and starts surveying the room. Amy climbs out after him. "Ouf. That was a tight fit. Unlike the tardis, that pot is _smaller_ on the inside." She stretches out her back.

"And by the way, _from your secret admirer? _Why?" She asks laughing a bit. The Doctor turns to smile at her.

"It always works, even in the 22th century B.C." He glances down the corridor. "Alrighty then, let's find us a tardis."

They wander through the halls but find no sign of the tardis or the mysterious priest. "This place is much bigger than it looked on the outside." Amy says trying to pass the time.

"Yes, that's because where we entered was only a small entry way. We probably went down some stairs and are now in the lower, bigger layers of the ziggurat."

"Right…So how are we going to find the tardis in here?" Amy asks. The Doctor shrugs his shoulders.

"Just keep looking." And so they continue searching all the corridors and rooms. Finally they find a hallway that has no other rooms branching off of it. It seems to be a dead end.

"Let me guess. Hidden door that leads to a hidden room maybe?" Amy asks. The Doctor smiles.

"Beautiful deduction. Now we just need to locate this hidden door." The Doctor pulls out his sonic screwdriver and begins scanning the walls. Amy glances around the hallway and notices a single torch burning along one wall. _Only one torch? I'm sure the Doctor needs more light than that._ Amy thinks to herself. She reaches up to grab the torch and pull it out.

Suddenly the wall directly next to her begins to shake. A thin line appears outlining a door. The Doctor looks up. "Job well done Pond. The old torch that's really a hidden lever trick. Should've known."

He peers down the hallway. There's a light at the end. "Déjà vu." He jokes.

"Yeah. Let's just hope there are no mad Cybermen at the end of this hallway." Amy jokes back.

They start walking down the hallway. They hear a voice and follow it to the end. They find a very modern looking room, with computers lining the wall. And at the end of the line of computers the tardis! Unfortunately the sketchy priest is sitting at one of the computers and appears to be speaking to someone.

"No signs of suspicious activity. Although there's been one thing…Yes. It is very strange indeed. It appears to be a blue police box from around the 1960's A.D…It just appeared on the edges of the city…I've no idea…Who? I don't think so…Wait. On second thought there was this one person…Well he was-yes of course…" Amy is listening intently to the snippets of conversation, but the Doctor is focused on a large T made out of hexagons above the row of computers.

"_Torchwood._" He mutters. Suddenly the priest spins around.

"You." He says.

"Who it is? Anderson what is it?" A voice says from the computer behind him. "Anderson? Respond. What is the situation?"

"It's him." The priest says, his eyes locked on the Doctor. "It's the Doctor." The voice behind him goes silent. The Doctor's eyes narrow.

"That's right." He says, now very serious. "It's the Doctor. And I want to know what exactly Torchwood wants with _my_ tardis." The priest jumps up. He seems very frightened and mousy all of a sudden.

"I'm so terribly sorry. I hadn't realized. If I'd have known- You see, Torchwood has been experimenting with time travel and I was sent back to see how far back we can go. This is the furthest anyone has traveled back with our technology. I'm supposed to monitor it to be safe and also look out for any suspicious activity. When I saw a police box from the 1960's I thought-"

"Wait. Hold up." Amy says, holding her hands up in a _stop_ gesture. "I'm so confused right now can someone please explain to me what's going on and what exactly Torchwood is?" The Doctor turns to Amy.

"Long story short, Torchwood is an institute created to defend the Earth against _me,_ but later evolved to include all aliens and monsters and such. And-no offense-"he says to the priest. "But whenever our paths cross they always tend to get in the way or make things complicated. And I want to know why they stole my tardis." He says, his voice exposing a bit of venom.

"This is a misunderstanding." The priest says. "I didn't know. I'm so sorry. You can have your um, tardis back." The Doctor's face softened a touch.

"No experiments or anything were performed on it?" The Doctor asks. The priest shakes his head violently.

"I couldn't even open it." He says. All traces of anger on the Doctor's face suddenly disappear.

"Oh, no harm done. I was just teasing you." He says smiling. "It was just a little mix up, nothing to be angry about. Oh and say hi to Martha for me." With that he hops up to the tardis and pulls out his key.

"Doctor, why are you here?" The priest asks.

"Oh, Amy and I are teaching a history course." He says while unlocking the tardis door.

"Excuse me? I must have misheard you, I swear you said you were-"

"Teaching a history course. Yes. Amy show him the flash cards." Amy holds up the flash cards decisively.

"Yep." She says. "And our next unit is Ancient Egypt."

"Ooo. I can't wait for you to meet Queen Nefertiti. She's a feisty one." The Doctor says. Amy rolls her eyes.

"Doctor I already met her. On the spaceship with dinosaurs." She reminds him.

"Oh. I guess you'll just have to be satisfied with watching priests embalming mummies."

"Oh I'm _very_ excited for that." Amy says sarcastically. She climbs into the tardis behind the Doctor, then pokes her head out.

"It was nice meeting you, um, I didn't catch your name."

"Anderson."

"It was nice meeting you Anderson." And she jumps back in. A moment later a whirring noise signals the departure of the tardis and they disappear. The priest stands silently in shock for a moment. Then the voice on the computer speaks up.

"Hey, so how'd you like your first meeting with the Doctor?"

"It was…fascinating…Did you know he's teaching history?" The voice laughs in disbelief.

"The Doctor? Teaching history? Very funny."

"No really! He said he's going to Ancient Egypt next."

"Hmm. I think maybe you might have misheard him."

"But I-"

"Alright Anderson, enough fooling around. Back to work." With that the voice signed out. Anderson just sat there staring at where the tardis had been a moment ago.

"A Time Lord teaching history…" He mutters to himself.


	3. Chapter 3: Egypt, Old Kingdom

"Ancient Egypt!" The Doctor says, waving his arms fanatically at the scene around him. He and Amy are standing on the crowded steps of a giant square building. People stream in and out of it.

"Egypt is located in northeastern Africa. It has the Mediterranean Sea to the North, the Arabian Desert to the East, and the Sahara Desert to the Southwest. The earliest civilizations started in the Nile River Delta in Lower Egypt." He says, giving some background on the culture. Amy is shifting through her flash cards while wearing her giant sunglasses that cover half her face.

"Until 3100 B.C. Egypt was divided into Lower and Upper Egypt. In 3100 B.C. the Pharaoh Menes united them." Amy reads off a flash card. "Um Doctor?"

"Yes Pond?"

"When are we exactly?"

"Excellent question. We are in the Old Kingdom, which ran from 2669-2180 B.C. The Old Kingdom is the first distinguishable Egyptian culture. Now, shall we head into the temple?" The Doctor says pointing toward the building. He and Amy walk up the many steps to the entrance. Inside it is much quieter, with only the soft sound of chanting humming through the stone walls.

"The Egyptians are polytheistic which means-"

"They worship many gods." Amy finishes for him. He looks at her. "Sorry." She whispers. He points toward the walls again. "And these are hieroglyphics, which are a highly sophisticated form of writing developed around 4000 B.C. And hieroglyphics are-"

"A combination of phonetic symbols and pictograph…" Amy finishes again. She looks at him apologetically again. "Sorry…again."

"So, as I was saying-" The Doctor continues. Suddenly the sounds of running footsteps echo through the hallway. "Oh, will no one let me finish my-"

"Doctor, I'm sorry about interrupting you, but don't you think we should run now?" Amy says as the footsteps get closer.

"Very well." The Doctor says giving in. They begin to run back down the corridor. They are just about to reach the exit, when out of nowhere a line of guards appears. "Uh oh." The Doctor says, summing it up. One of the guards steps forward.

"We have orders to capture the Doctor, and any person or persons with him. Are you the Doctor?" He asks. The Doctor steps forward and smiles brilliantly.

"Yep. That's me. Last of the Time Lords, Protector of the Earth, yadayadayada…Nice to meet you." He says, holding out his hand for a shake. The leader of the guards stays where he is. The Doctor pulls back his hand awkwardly. "um, may I ask who exactly has order my, our capture?"

"Our great leader, Pharaoh Khufu." He says, saluting as if the pharaoh was staying in the room with them. Amy nudges the Doctor. "You didn't tell me you knew the pharaoh." She says. The Doctor leans in and whispers back. "I don't. At least not yet…" The guard interrupts their conversation.

"You will come." He says and turns away. "You heard the man. Come along Pond."

The guards escort them through the city until they arrive at the royal palace. The building is magnificently designed and the smaller houses around it only exaggerate it size. The Doctor actually looks overjoyed to be invited into such a prestigious building. Amy can't help but feel a little apprehensive.

They're led through the many hallways and such to the throne room. This is the largest of the rooms they've been in and it is extravagantly decorated. Gold statues line the walls and slaves stand at the ready with fans. In the center of it all is a fat man covered in golden bracelets and necklaces, sitting on a throne that looks too small for him. Amy tries hard not to laugh at this. The Doctor gently elbows her to stop, but she can see a small on his face.

"Pharaoh, we have captured this Doctor and this girl who was with him, as you ordered." The leader of the guards says, while kneeling on the floor. The Pharaoh begins to rise (with some difficulty) from his throne. Suddenly he grimaces and Amy is horrified to hear him fart. The slaves with the fans begin to fan the air violently. One of them looks as though he's about to pass out.

This only makes Amy want to laugh more, but she covers her mouth with her hands.

"Excuse me, I fear that my breakfast meal is not agreeing with me." He says, trying to ignore Amy. "Job well done capturing the Doctor though. And Doctor, I am the great Pharaoh Khufu, and you're probably wondering why I summoned you here-"

"Actually not really." The Doctor says, suddenly looking bored. But Amy knows he's secretly taking pleasure from interrupting the pharaoh.

"What? Not even a little?" The pharaoh asks.

"It's painfully obvious." The Doctor explains. "Clearly you are part of the Slitheen family. Your size and digestion problems gave it away."

"Well, I bet you don't know how I know about who you are." The pharaoh says.

"I would guess that when I last defeated the Slitheen they sent out a transmission either warning others of me, or pleading for help." The pharaoh looks furious for a moment, but then it passes.

"Alright. You have very keen inference powers, Doctor, but now that I have you captured there is no way you can stop my plans." Amy rolls her eyes, and the Doctor says to her. "Famous last words." She starts to laugh. This really angers the Slitheen.

"You won't be laughing when I'm done!" It's the Doctor turn to roll his eyes.

"Whatever you say, but what is it that you're exactly doing?" he asks. The Slitheen smiles as if he was waiting for the Doctor to ask.

"I became trapped here when my family and I were banished from our home planet. But now that I am pharaoh I will summon the rest of my family and we will unite. Then we will use our knowledge and the Egyptian army to take over the rest of the world. Once we are done taking over this planet we will build up our forces and continue to take over other planets. Then-"

"Sorry. I hate to interrupt," The Doctor says, happily, "but there's one small problem with you plan. If you're trapped here than that means your spaceship must have been badly damaged, to the point where there's no way you could have sent out a transmission that large that could reach all the other Slitheen." The Slitheen smiles at this though.

"Quite right, Doctor. But I've been building a radio tower that I will use to send out a signal to all my family."

"You don't think Egyptians are going to be a little scared of a foreign radio tower in the middle of their city?" Amy asks. The Slitheen laughs.

"I've disguised my radio tower as a pyramid!" The Doctor raises an eyebrow. Amy starts to laugh. "I told you the pyramids were built by aliens." She says.

"Laugh all you like, but I won't let you stop me Doctor. Guards!" The pharaoh calls. They reenter.

"Take our guests to see our greatest achievement ever!" He says. The guards take them by the arms.

"Hey, hey." The Doctor says, "Watch the bowtie." He straightens his bowtie and then let's them drag him and Amy out of the throne room.

A few minutes later the guards pull them into the main chamber in the heart of the pyramid. "The great Pharaoh has ordered you two buried alive."

"I don't like the sound of that." Amy says.

"Don't worry, it will be a slow painful death." The guard says as they seal them in.

"Who'd thought the pyramids were actually built by aliens?" The Doctor says. "And did you see the pharaoh's crown?"

"What?" Amy asks.

"Yeah. It was a double crown which is a symbol of the unity of Lower and Upper Egypt. You see, the-"

"Doctor, I don't think this is really the time to be worrying about teachings things. We need to focus on getting out of here." The Doctor laughs.

"Don't worry. That'll be easy…Afterall, they did seal us inside of their radio tower. If we dismantle that, then it'll be really easy to get out of here."

"Okay. So how do we dismantle it?" Amy asks.

"Well." The Doctor says, thinking out loud. He hops up onto a sarcophagus. "The control center is where we want to go, and that'll probably be in the center of the pyramid, so we're relatively close. The entrance is probably in this room, and wow, this sarcophagus is strangely breezy."

"What?" Amy asks.

"I said, it feels like a breeze is coming from this sarcophagus." Amy raises her eyebrow.

"I think we just found our secret entrance." The Doctor hops up and throws open the lid. Low and behold, the bottom is hollow and there are stairs leading down.

"They don't make secret entrances like they used to." The Doctor says jokingly. "Shall we?" He asks, motioning to the tunnel.

"Yes, we shall." Amy says and they walk down the tunnel.

"Wow, I'm starting to sense a pattern here." Amy says. They emerge in a modern looking room, with computers and fancy looking future stuff along the walls. The Doctor tsks.

"Not even guarded."

"So now?"

"Now, we pull random plugs." He begins, true to his word, to start pulling plugs and wires at random. A bunch of lights and alarms start going off.

"Doctor, I think you pulled the alarm." Amy says shielding her ears.

"It's too late. I've already activated the self-destruct." The Doctor says innocently. "We should probably go now." He says.

As they start running up the tunnel, Amy says to the Doctor, "Why do they always install self-destruct buttons?" The Doctor shrugs. "Not the slightest idea."

They arrive at the exit. "Doctor, it's sealed!" Amy yells at him, as the alarms get louder, suddenly the door blows open as guard start streaming in. "Nice timing." The Doctor says. They run through the door. A few minutes later they hear a loud boom, and the control room detonates. Suddenly Amy makes a revelation.

"Doctor, the pyramid will collapse!" She says. The Doctor waves his hand. Amy looks back at the pyramid, and braced herself for it to collapse. But it didn't.

"The control room was built so when it detonated, it imploded, not exploded. Standard Slitheen technology. The pyramid will be fine." Amy takes a moment to process this.

"So what about the Slitheen?" She asks. The Doctor thinks for a moment. Suddenly a guard runs by and the Doctor grabs him by the shoulders.

"Did you see that? The pharaoh must have done something to displease the Gods. He will get us all killed!" he yells in the guards face. The guard looks frightened and he runs off, but Amy can tell that he believes the Doctor.

"Lord Pharaoh Khufu will probably be assassinated or poisoned soon enough. He may even have to just make a run for it before those angry citizens get him."

"So what now?" Amy asks.

"Now? We finish our lesson." The Doctor turns to the audience. "The Old Kingdom declined around 2180 B.C., but would rise again in 2080 B.C. as the Middle Kingdom. Which we will learn about next unit!" The Doctor waves as he runs off into the city.

"Wait, Doctor. Where's the tardis?" Amy asks, and then runs off after him. "Doctor?!"


	4. Chapter 4: Indus River Valley

"Okay folks!" The Doctor says while smiling ecstatically. "I know we got a bit sidetracked last time, and the time before that, and before that too…um, but I _promise _that this time we will stick to the index cards and will absolutely _not_ get sidetracked." Amy rolls her eyes at this.

"Because today we'll be visiting the Indus River Valley, the most peaceful place on earth!" He finishes and turns to the tardis controls. Then he begins to randomly press buttons and pull triggers. Amy casually leans down and then he brushes her off.

"Pond! These controls are very sensitive and precise and if one wrong button was to be press-" He reprimands her.

"Sorry, sorry." She looks at the Doctor who is staring very intently at the controls. Then he lightens up and looks at her. "I can't be mad at you. Just read the index cards." She smiles and pulls them out, while leaning back again on the controls.

"Okay, so as I'm sure some of you have already guessed, the Indus River Valley is in India. It formed along two rivers the Ganges, and the Indus. To the North there are the Hindu Kush, Karakorum, and Himalayan mountains. On its other three sides it is surrounded by water, and this makes it a peninsula. These also provide incredibly good natural barriers. A natural barrier is any geographic feature that protects a civilization from outside attacks. And perhaps this is why their culture has so little evidence of armies and weapons, because they didn't need them. Even their two main cities-"Amy is interrupted by the Doctor who suddenly shoots up from the controls.

"Speaking of which…welcome to Mohenjo-Daro!" He says while raising his hands dramatically. Amy just stands there looking unimpressed.

"I thought you said we were going to Harappa." She says, completely shattering his sense of pride.

"What?"

"I thought you said we were going to Harappa…you know the other major city of the Indus River Valley."

"Okay, well now we're going to Mohenjo-Daro!" He says raises his hands dramatically again. Amy rolls her eyes, but can't help smiling a little.

They exit the tardis and find themselves on an empty street.

"Wow it's so…"

"Empty?"  
"I was gonna say clean, but I guess empty works too." Amy says.

"And it's so clean because they have indoor plumbing."

"So why is it so empty?" Amy asks. The Doctor either doesn't hear her or just ignores her.

"Let's head to the Great Bath!" The Doctor begins to lead the way.

"I love Mohenjo-Daro because they know how to make a street system! Every street is made perfectly into a grid system. It's nearly impossible to get lost! Well actually…um, Amy you wouldn't happen to know where the Great Bath is would you?"

"You got us lost, didn't you?"

"What? No…I'm only taking a detour." Amy looks up at a certain building that seems higher than all the others.

"Is that it?" She asks, pointing. The Doctor follows her hand and then smiles.

"Yep. Good job Pond!" They walk up the many steps to the entrance. It's just as deserted as the streets.

The Doctor looks around intently. Amy knits her eyebrows together.

"Something's not right here." She says. The Doctor just stays silent.

"Pond?"

"Yes?"

"See that statue over there?" He says motioning to the large statue of a man with the head of a cow in the center of the room.

"Yes. What about it? It shows the Indus River Valley's polytheistic religion?"

"No, no, no. How many shadows does it have?" Amy raises an eyebrow.

"Um…I don't know, one, two, three, four…Four."

"Four."

"Yep. That's what I said."

"Okay. And how many light sources are there?"

"Okayyy…Uhh. There's a window over there, this open door, and um that window over there."

"So three."

"Yeah."

"So where is the 4th shadow coming from?" He says. Amy doesn't answer just looks in horror at the statue. She has no idea what the Doctor is going on about, but she knows from experience that when the Doctor gets that face it is not good.

"Pond. Listen to me very _very_ carefully. We need to get back to the tardis. Do not touch any shadows. Understand? Stay out of the darkness. And _count the shadows._" She shakes her head to show she understands. The Doctor grabs her arm.

Suddenly they start running down the stairs. They reach the bottom and before Amy can say anything, the Doctor takes a right and Amy follows. They continue zigzagging in and out of the streets.  
"Doctor, do you even know where the tardis is?" Amy asks frantically. She looks back. The street seems darker than it was before.

"Doctor. The street just got darker." The Doctor doesn't even look back, just grabs her arm and they take a turn to the left. Amy stifles a scream. There's a pale skeleton that's been stripped of all flesh leaning against the corner.

"What are we running from Doctor? Doctor?"

"The Vashta Nerada. And we need don't have time to talk about it, we just have to get out of here. Let's go." Then run past the skeleton. But the street is engulfed by darkness.

"Uhh, this way." He says, but it is blocked by darkness.

"Okay…Um, ahha! Inside that building!" Amy starts to protest, but they run inside before she can stop him.

"Up the stairs!" he yells. They reach the top, but the shadows are close behind.

"Out the window!" He yells. They jump out and Amy screams at the top of her lungs. They fall but land on top of a pile of hay.

"We're alive!" She screams with joy.

"Not for long, let's go." They continue running.

"Where is the tardis?" Amy asks.

"I think I parked it by the bread market."

"Which is where?"

"Um…Next to the pottery barn?"

"Not helping!" They turn the corner and the blue box jumps into view.

"AH! We're saved!" Amy screams. "We're not going to die." She runs to the box but the Doctor grabs her arm.

"No. Amy. Count the shadows." She looks at him and then back at the tardis.

"There's an extra shadow." She says. "Wha-what do we do?" The Doctor is silent then he gets a resolved face.

"We have to find some meat." Amy swallows hard. "I'll check in that building." The Doctor takes her hand.

"Count the shadows." She nods her head. She cautiously enters building. She slowly walks to the back. It seems to be a storage room. She counts the shadow and there are no extra shadows, so she continues walking. The pots all contain rice, some bread. Then she spies one pot over in the back. She starts to crawl over to it, but then remembers to count the shadows. The pot has no extra's but then she realizes that the pot next to it has one extra shadow. She decides to try to get to the pot anyway. She just gently raises her foot over the extra shadow, keeping a close eye on it.

Suddenly her back foot slides on a pot cap and her foot slams down inches from the shadow. Her heart is thumping. But she's alive. She reaches for the pot. Inside she finds some strips of what look like some sort of meat. She breathes a sigh of relief and exits the building.

"Doctor?"

"Amelia!" The Doctor pokes his head out from the opposite building.

"Find anything?"

"Yep." She holds up the pot. He takes a strip of meat and throws it near the tardis. The shadows jump out at it and a moment later it disappears. Then the Doctor grabs Amy's hand and they lunge at the tardis. The Doctor dumps the rest of the meat to keep the Vashta Nerado occupied. They jump into the tardis and he slams the door shut.

Amy hasn't even realized that her heart was beating. The Doctor looks incredibly distressed.

"Doctor?"

"Pond…I think we just found out why the Indus River Valley civilization declined." Amy smiles sadly.

"So much for not getting sidetracked."

"I promise that next time there will be no distractions."

"Sure…" Amy says. "We'll see about that."


End file.
